Beauty and the Beast

That headline was supposed to be a play on a week in which the fabulous Pen & Pencil softball team got a win and suffered a loss. It turned out to be merely an excuse to use that picture, which is actually probably the best thing to come out of the second week of the Center City Softball League season.

We lost Monday to the Art Museum Nine and then won by forfeit Tuesday over the There’s A Hole In My Green Tambourine And All The Players Got Away team. If I tie is like kissing your sister, then losing in the last inning to the Art Museum coupled by winning a forfeit is like kissing Leroy’s hind flanks. Bleh.

Let’s start with Monday, Doctor. I’m conflicted and there are issues I must resolve.


Solidly against sportsmanship.



General Manager Chris Brennan gives the Management a stern talking-to regarding sportsmanship each spring. He is solidly against it, except in rare cases involving fraudulent sportsmanship exhibited in a game that is clearly over. But, more to his taste, is officially over.

At 6 p.m., which is the league starting time in the month of April, the Art Museum didn’t have a full team. In fact, there was Ray and his 5-year-old daughter with the bad jokes. Maybe a few more.

He said he had a ninth person coming and could we wait a while and…so the ninth person showed up at 6:20 p.m. (which I have to say is how long Ray gave the Tap last week, and then lost to them, so maybe it’s karma) and, yes, good sports that we are, we played the game because – come on, they’ve got nine people – what’s the worst that could happen?

Try this. We go out to an 11-0 lead after two innings and lose 16-15, with the Art scoring five in the seventh when the Management thought it was a bright idea to start pitching.



It wasn't his fault, except it was.



I am firmly convinced that we would have won the game regardless if Art had 11 players show up instead of nine. Now, this takes some complicity on our part not to take advantage of the gaps between three outfielders, but it also allows the good Art hitters, all of whom arrived, to get many, many at-bats. Rice, Darkness and Whiskey Frank (who was Gin Frank this evening, showing his versatility) combined to go 13-for-15 and drive in nine of the runs. Darkness had five RBIs, which you won’t find in the Art blog because Frank can’t read a scorebook.

Anyway, they had that going for them. I’m not sure what the hell we were doing at the plate. We had 11 runs and 11 hits in those first two innings. Four runs and seven hits in the last five innings. That should be impossible against a team that has three outfielders, but we seemed to manage it easily. Nine of our last 15 outs were made in the infield. That’s just fucking silly. THERE ARE NO INFIELD OUTS IN THE CCSL. But we pulled that one off, too.

As for the last Art at-bat, the Management will take that one, but I’d still bet against that game-winning hit. Not that it matters.

Welcome back, New Kid Keith Craig, who works at the shore now (I think he’s at Thrasher’s) and will make the drive all season. Also big P&P welcome to Kerry Cali O’Connor, who was born on the Management’s birthday (December 2^nd, if you want to put it on your calendar) and attended his first game on Monday. Better he should get his illusions about this team out of the way early.



Lot of red in second game of week, on both sides.



From the scorebook, we have Russ Krause with a 4-for-4 day, including a double and a triple. Two hits each for Kerry, Mark Nevins, George Miller and Chris Brennan. That’s the highlights, folks. For the second straight year, Krause scored from third base on a line drive out to the infield. We played decent defense, compared to the Zoo opener. Uh. That’s about it.

On Tuesday, raring to avenge that loss, we took to the majestic plateau of Dairy 2 to meet Team Green Tambourine, which, it turns out, is actually named after the Lemon Pipers tune. Sounds all right to me. I mean, they could have been Team Ode To Billy Joe or something.

Come to find out, they didn’t have enough players at 6 p.m., either. But sportsmanship didn’t have to come into play this time. They wouldn’t have had enough by 6 a.m. So, it was a forfeit and we split up and had a good scrimmage. Jon Snyder, Stick Lynch, Dan Rubin and the Management climbed into the Tambourine and I think we won. Hard to say. We didn’t keep score and finally stopped playing when Leroy was the only one who wanted to go out for another inning (and take a big, ol’ hairy dump).

Big P&P welcome to Inquirer reporter Mike Newall, who made his debut and was one of the last three players to leave the pitch-dark field, so he can stay. Everybody got a lot of swings and had a good time and Brennan learned that pitching isn’t as easy as it looks. Jon Snyder took this cool video of Rubin lining a ball just off the tip of Kerry’s glove at second. My favorite part of the video is when Dan drops the $200 team bat in front of him, steps on the handle and almost trips. Just kidding, Danny. Don’t step on the bat.

That was the week. We’re 2-1 on the season and ready for anything except sportsmanship.