P&P 2013: Great Plot, Exciting Story, Many Laughs, But A Scary Ending

Yes, the most successful Pen & Pencil Club softball team season in more than a decade came to a somewhat sudden end on Tuesday at the Dairy fields. Maybe we’re lactose intolerant.
In any case, softball is intolerant of teams that stop hitting and we picked a bad week to give up both sniffing glue and finding the holes in the opposition’s defense. We lost 13-3 to the South Philly Tap Room, which gets the reward of being able to spend all of next week with the Catahoula Refugees. So, maybe it wasn’t all that bad.

Mike Galan returns!

We had a great turnout for the final act in the show, with the exception of those who were somewhere in New Mexico or stuck on the Tappen Zee Bridge. Coming back for the reunion was Mike Galan and Tom Hickey, the latter of whom has moved back to Philadelphia and threatened to rejoin the team next season. I’m sure the new Management will be pleased to have him.
It actually was a pretty well-played game. Our chief worry against the Tap Room is that they will hit the ball over our heads and run around the bases a lot. That didn’t happen. We played them deep and reasonably well. Elmer was charitable enough to fly out in each of his four at-bats.
But because we were deep, they had some bloops that fell in, and were able to take an extra base on some singles and, well, there was plenty of running around as it turned out.

Next season's uniform

We had a couple of untimely miscues and Tap jumped out to a 9-0 lead after two innings. We stayed with them in the final five innings, but weren’t able to generate enough to mount a comeback. Oh, fucking well.
The top six hitters in our order went a combined 5-for-18 and we didn’t get a runner to second base until the third inning. That usually won’t get you to the championship round, and it didn’t this time, either.
In the scorebook, ably kept by Galan in Ron’s absence, we totaled just nine hits. Two each for Steve Lynch and Mark Nevins, and just dribs and drabs otherwise. Chris Yasiejko pitched well in relief of the old Management, and we brought a total of 15 different hitters to the plate. Apologies to Ed Cascarella, B.J. Clark and Dan McElhatton for not letting them share the blame in this.
A welcome back to Ellen Kenney and the salty snacks and thanks for the support from 

P&P confident in Rubin's champagne ability.

Merlin, Mookie and Craig’s kid and his friend. And thanks to whoever brought the celebratory champagne, which didn’t go to waste.
It was a season to celebrate, going 14-4 in the regular season to earn the second seed and a first-round bye. If Tap hadn’t pulled out a 10-9 win over Art in its opening-round game the night before, we would have played the Collar instead in the semis and maybe had a better shot at the final round, but that’s champagne over the bridge at this point.
And it would have meant spending next week with the Catahoula Orcs.

With some reason, apparently.

So, we prepare for the Tuesday, Aug. 6 All-Star Game, which is always a good time, and word has it that general manager Chris Brennan is planning a bang-up team party at the club. Can’t wait for that. If we can just avoid a friendly against Waterworks, our season will be nearly perfect.
Thanks to all. Get your running in. April is just around the corner.

Friends and Family Plan

Father of the Year (left).

The Pen & Pencil Club completed its most successful regular season since Ron Goldwyn was a rookie with a split on the field and a clean sweep in the standings.
We lost 8-2 to undefeated Catahoula and then beat the Zoo 11-9 in a stunning comeback, but elsewhere in the CCSL there was a crazy upset that landed us solidly in second place for the season and earned us a first-round playoff bye next week.
The P&P will open the playoffs in the semi-final round on Tuesday at Dairy 4 against either the South Philly Tap Room, Bishop’s Collar or Fleisher Art Memorial. The

R.McElhatton, D. McElhatton

opponent is dependent on Monday’s opening round. We play the highest remaining seed and Catahoula plays the lowest remaining seed. Those are single-elimination games, so all we have to do is win one to get to the best-of-three championship round and then unleash our biggest surprise of all once we get there.
That’s next week’s story, however. This week’s story became very interesting when the National Constitution Center upset the Tap Room by a 12-9 score on Monday. The Constitution Center won only two games otherwise this season, by one run over Franklin Institute and four runs over Green Tambourine, while also losing games along the way by 25 runs, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15 (to the Tap), and 15.
You can’t break the NCC spirit, however, and the Historical Document Building rose up and smote the Lower City Draught Emporium somehow. We’re not complaining.

Internship paying off.

Exhausted by that loss and facing a possible four-game schedule in the week, the Tap forfeited its last game of the season – to Catahoula – and we slid safely into second. OK, whatever.
On the field for us this week, we had some vacation, pre-CANA, work and injury issues that left us a little short on the roster, particularly on the double-X chromosome side of the lineup again.
Monday against Catahoula, we brought in three wonderful substitutes, including Rose McElhatton, Kylie Ford and Bree, a friend of George’s who wasn’t related to anyone as far as we could tell.
Well, the women didn’t win it for us – although Mangement’s kid had two of our very few hits – but we got on the field with a full lineup and played a solid defensive game in the 8-2 loss. We just didn’t hit at all.
Two hits each for Dan Rubin (RBI), Jon Snyder and K. Ford (RBI). The top five hitters in the lineup were 3-for-15 and we began the game with two straight 1-2-3 innings, which should have been a tipoff.
Anyway, we regrouped on Tuesday at sun-washed Dairy 2 for our important matchup with the Zoo. If we were going to hold off the Tap Room and keep the second seed, we needed this game badly.
Mark Nevins needed help to make the game because he was on fatherhood duties with young Jackson. So, he did what any Father of the Year would do. He entrusted his first-born son to Ryan and Nick when he was in the field, bringing a pizza to the game in payment for this wonderful child care.
Anyway, this greatly helped our play in the field, and you can see great examples of it here and also here.
It was a great game. We went out to a 3-0 lead in the top of the first, but then scored just one more run in our next four at-bats. Zoo, meanwhile, climbed slowly back and held a 5-4 lead after five innings.

"Yes, that's daddy at third. But always remember, Uncle Nick is
faster and a better hitter and a lot better overall than daddy."

We started with the number five hitter in the sixth inning, so given the way we had been (not) hitting, it didn’t look that good for our final two at-bats. But our first five batters got hits in the inning and we were able to score three runs and turn over the lineup to be set up much better for the deciding seventh.
The Zoo came back and scored four in its half of the inning to lead 9-7, but our top of the lineup responded and we got hits from six of the first eight hitters to score four times and take the 11-9 lead. Yaz faced just four batters in the bottom of the seventh to close the door and end the regular season on a great note.
A four-for-four day for Snyder, and three hits each for Steve Lynch, Rubin (3 RBIs) and Kerry O’Connor. Two hits each for George Miller, Nevins, Keith Craig, Chris Yasiejko (2 RBIs) and the Management (2 RBIs).
In deference to the heat and the necessity to stay hydrated, we also drank five cases of beer in the two days (the bill is coming, Chris) and Lynch lost his glasses in the outfield in both games. And found them!
On to the playoffs and further glory. I don’t see what can go wrong.

We're All Friends Here

We’ll get to The Adventure of Danny and the Ogre eventually, which proved that, in fact, we are not all friends here, at least not all of the time, and at least not when one thing leads to another and there is a near-death experience.

All in good time. There’s a lot to catch up on, particularly since The Management didn’t do a blog update last week in honor of America. If we are forced to blog on our nation’s birthday, then the terrorists have truly won.

So, we’ll start with last week, which started like most recent weeks, with a rainout. Edgeley 8 was under water for our game against the Zoo on Monday, and that one has been rescheduled for next week, if you take a gander to the right-hand column, you can see that for yourself and commit it to memory.

The following night Edgeley 8 was still under water and we moved to Edgeley 4 for our game against Fleisher Art Memorial, which was fine until the teams that actually had the permit for the field showed up. (Not before The Management raked the field for about a half-hour, however.) So, we moved to Dairy 1, the baseball field, and it was a little goopy but we got the game in, much to Brian Donlen’s eventual dismay.

If there was a highlight to the game, it was when Kyle Jakubowski decided to flip The Management as Kyle slid into the third base, saying, “I just wanted to make the blog.” Ok, fine. You made the blog, Kyle. Now cut it the fuck out.

Brennan, who inspected
Rubin's injured and
bee-stung toe, says Dan
could have played if
he had just sucked it up.

The other notable happening was when Donlen did, indeed, tear up his calf muscle as he ran through the muck to first base. Close followers of the Pen & Pencil softball team will observe that almost all of Donlen’s injuries involve the path to first base. Most are associated with tripping over the base, so this one was a little different. Teammates suggested various helpful remedies before Donlen got pissed and limped off.

Anyway, we won the game 20-9. We built up a quick 9-0 lead, then led just 11-9 after the fifth inning, then scored nine more in the final two innings to put it away. This game marked the triumphant, if short-lived return of Julie Dugan, who clearly hates us wicked now and will only show




Cardboard Ron in the snow at
Logan Pass, courtesy of
Jon Snyder, one of our missing
colleagues last week.

  up if B.J. kidnaps her and throws her in the car.
Good hitting night. Four hits for Russ Krause, George Miller and, Chris Yasiejko; three hits each for Steve Lynch (HR), Mark Nevins (5 RBIs), The Management, Clark, and Donlen, including the last one that, well, you know.
That was plenty of excitement for one week. This week, another scheduled doubleheader, against the Tap on Monday and the Green Tambourinists on Tuesday, and these actually happened, despite rain earlier in the day Monday and a light sprinkle during the game on Tuesday.
Well, the Tap. Where to begin?

It was a reunion of sorts as we pulled in some super subs to take the place of a big number of P&Pers who had either injuries, work obligations, out-of-town travel or, in the case of Lynch, awesome Phillies tickets, yo, ha-ha, my man.

The picture up top is of Mark and Al from the Tap Room, and The Management along with super subs Chip Proctor and Mike Trout. Ryan and Nick are in the picture, too, because, like the other guys, we all played on the same Delco Sunday team at one time. It was quite an experience, but that's for another day. It sure was nice to see everyone and know that, no matter what, it was going to be a pleasant, friendly evening.
Those who were there are aware that only lasted until some harmless bantering got slightly out of hand and there was some chirping from both sides and then Danny decided to call Ogre an asshole, and Ogre called him an asshole, and Benson called Danny an asshole, and Ogre said let’s fight and Danny started to walk toward him, and Camel (6-foot-5, 240 pounds) jumped on Ogres back and Ogre didn’t seem to notice all that much. Incredibly enough, however, there was no fight. Everyone calmed down and whatever hallucinations Danny had been having appeared to clear and the game continued.

The three Millers, and the
two Mookies. Although the
twin is named Tiger, of course.

Of course, it continued with Big Chris, Ogre and Camel hitting consecutive home runs in their next at-bats, just to show they were awake now. If you saw the home runs, I don’t have to describe them. It you didn’t, I couldn’t possibly describe them. Camel’s hit the road on the fly from Edgeley 4 in straight-away center field, just carrying Trout’s car. Elmer’s ball went very, very far past Edgeley 3. Chris’ ball probably only went 350 feet to right-center.
Without that little outburst of pissed-offness, we had a shot at the game, which we lost 17-12. In fact, we still had a shot at it, loading the bases with two outs in the seventh before the rally flamed out there. It was a pretty good game, result notwithstanding.
We trailed 10-1 in the bottom of the fourth, but rallied to make it an 11-8 game before the big guys hit their big shots. Still a good effort against a team we are likely to see in the playoffs, and this time with all our players.
In the scorebook, Krause and Proctor with three hits each, two each for Nevins, Tommy Rowan and The Management. Nevins also brought salty snacks in honor of Ellen’s world tour.
That brought us to Tuesday and more roster issues as we headed into a game against the Green Tambourine. No women. We were 0-for-5 on female availability from our roster, so George recruited Gabi and Amandah to keep us legal and George has been promoted to Assistant General Manager for Double-X Chromosome Scouting and Acquisition.
This being George Miller Day at the park, there was also a visit from George’s father and grandfather and….wait for it…. Mookie’s twin brother, Tiger! Who knew?
Well, we won the game 11-7 after starting off with some fielding hijinks that were awful. Miller, of course, was a perfect 3-for-3 and drove in three of our runs. Lynch had two hits including a home run to right field. Two hits also for Amandah and McElhatton, who did not challenge anyone to fight or call anyone an asshole in this game, as far as I know.
We scored eight of our runs in the third inning, which means we scored a total of three in the other five at-bats. It was fine on this night, but we’ll need to do better soon.
Anyway, happy 4th of July. Onward.


Gabi and Amandah, feeling proud to have been part of Pen & Pencil Club softball. Donlen is at left, working on rehabilitation program. Ron walks sadly away, wondering why the Management forgot to bat him.